Picture yourself walking down the street, when, out of the blue, a woman so beautiful that you have to shield your eyes turns the corner (picture trance music in the background, wind blowing through her hair, and so on). You’ve never seen a woman this beautiful before and you’d give your left nut to date her.
The problem is that, like most men, you haven’t a clue as to how to approach her. There’s no bar around to offer her a drink, there’s no dance floor to ask her to dance, and you don’t even know if she has time to talk to you, or even if she’s available for that matter.
So if I were to bet my left nut on your next move, I’d bet that you’d walk right past her and regret not stopping to talk to her for the remainder of the night.
For all you know, she might have been the one… who likes getting her booty slapped while she calls you daddy. Oh well, I guess you’ll never know.
approaching a stranger
It’s always very stressful when a man has to put his ego on the line in order to approach a woman he desires. Of course, certain situations are better suited to help a lad achieve his objective; places like bars, lounges, dance clubs, parties, classrooms, and so on.
All of these situations have been pretty much accepted by society as a breeding ground for, well, breeding. In other words, a woman who’s in a bar would not be all that surprised if a suitor approached her. Although she may be a little apprehensive, she wouldn’t be anywhere close to the uneasiness that women feel when they’re approached by men on the street who express their attraction to them.
And this is why it is so hard for some men to approach women on the street and succeed in their pickup mission. To begin with, the fact that a woman might think that you’re a stalker who may have been following her around puts her on high alert. Secondly, your delivery has to be perfect — both your words and body language — in order to get her to consider your offer.
But just because approaching a woman in a place that is unusual or unexpected is difficult, that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t attempt it.
Where do you start? Well in order to be mildly successful — and assuming she’s single or mildly attracted to you — your approach must contain the following three elements: sincerity, confidence and security. Then, follow these seven guidelines to help you on your way to socializing with the beautiful stranger:
1- Give your name first
Normally, I’d recommend that you only offer your name if she asks for it (this would demonstrate her interest in you), but because you’re approaching her, in a location where she’s not accustomed to being hit on no less, it’s better to introduce yourself in order to familiarize her with what’s about to take place and make yourself seem harmless and welcoming.
2- Keep your hands to yourself
At this point, you’re still a stranger and she’s still wary of your intentions. Offering to shake her hand would only be invading her personal space.
3- Reveal your intentions
A simple way to break the ice is by simply shedding some light on your intentions and your reasons for approaching her. Don’t make the mistake that most men make by trying to beat around her bush. Give her some credit and be direct — it will only prove that you’re confident.
4- Find out if she’s available
Before you spill your guts or waste any of your precious time asking her out, find out if she’s single.
5- Ask her out
Close the deal by asking her out for a drink (not a date) on another day. This will demonstrate that you’re not desperate and gives you the chance to exchange phone numbers.
6- Be unprepared
Don’t make the mistake of being too prepared (i.e. writing her digits into your PDA or cellular phone). This will make it seem like you’re a player who does this with every woman you meet on the street. Instead, scribble her number on a piece of paper, your hand, a napkin, a newspaper, or a book.
7- Have a backup plan for rejection
Remember that rejection is part of the game. You have to face the fact that inevitably, some women will be attached or simply not interested. If she says that she’s already taken (regardless if it’s true or not), take comfort in knowing that it happens to the best of us. Simply bow out gracefully by saying, “Well, you can’t blame a guy for trying.”
example of a winning approach
Now that you have a better idea of what it takes to approach a woman you’ve just met without having the benefit of a proper introduction, here’s an example of how the conversation might go:
You: Hi, my name’s David.
(Don’t stick out your hand for a handshake, instead place your hand on your own chest as you introduce yourself).
Target: Hi David.
You: Look, I’ve learned that in life, I shouldn’t let any opportunity pass me by and I think that you’re very appealing.
Target: (blushing) Thank you.
You: Well I was wondering — before I even bother — are you even single? I can’t imagine someone as pretty as yourself being single.
Target: Oh, I’m sorry but I’m seeing someone.
You: Oh that’s alright. Well, you can’t blame a guy for trying.
Target: Thank you. Um, yes, I am single.
You: I was wondering if you’d like to go out for a drink sometime?
Target: I’ve never done this before, but sure, why not? I guess so.
You: You know what? I’m busy this week. Why don’t we exchange numbers and I’ll give you a call?
Target: That’s fine by me. Do you have something to write on?
You: No, I don’t even have a pen.
Target: That’s alright, I do. Here’s my phone number. (Writes her name and number on the back of a piece of paper)
You: Alanita? That’s an unusual name. I like it. It’s original. Here’s my number. Well, it was nice meeting you. I’ll call you soon.
Target: Okay. It was nice meeting you too.
You: The pleasure was all mine.
welcome to the journey
If you go through life passing up these very rare opportunities you often wish for simply because you’re nervous, uncomfortable or not prepared, because you’re scared of rejection, or because you assume she’s not single, then you’ll eventually come to the realization that you’re going to be single for a very long time.
Remember; life is unscripted and the best things usually happen when you least expect them to. That is why you have to be prepared at all times. If you want to look back on your life with no regrets regarding your social life, you have to face rejection more often than you’d like to.
Player’s proverb: Rejection is better than regret.
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